Wednesday
Feb142007
(Gasp!) I Agree with Oprah
Wednesday, February 14, 2007 at 01:26AM
Let's get one thing straight...I don't have anything against Oprah personally. Millions of people love her and she seems to be a generous, passionate, intelligent woman, someone who genuinely cares for others. But that whole "book club" thing really got under my skin for various reasons (I'll write about it - maybe - at another time.) For that, and some other less tangible reasons, I tend to have a somewhat exasperated view of the Queen of Daytime, although, again, it's nothing personal. So, imagine my surprise when I found myself in complete agreement with Oprah, really for the first time ever.
As you might be aware of, Oprah recently donated about a bazillion dollars to open a girl's school in South Africa which, if I understand it correctly, is to provide top-notch educational opportunities and training for girls who would not otherwise have the opportunity. Of course, no good deed goes unpunished and Oprah has taken her fair (or unfair) amount of criticism, probably the most understandable theme involving bewilderment about why so much was spent on so few (only 152 girls to start out). But this is neither here nor there as far as I'm concerned. What I really want to focus on is two comments from Oprah that I read, two comments which caused me to wander off into lands unknown...that of concordance with Oprah. Here are her two quotes/comments:
"I did not think it was possible to have this love for other people's children."
"I now know this is why I never had children myself. These are my girls and I love them, every one of them."
Let me take Oprah's comments and make them my own. Understand that I have worked with children for a large part of my adult life. I have worked in and amongst thousands of kids, many of whom I've become very fond. But these children I've met in Africa... Never has a group of children left me feeling so broken and so full at the same time. Undoubtedly the intensity of my feelings toward them is in large part due to their station in life, their circumstances. I mean, you'd be a sorry person indeed NOT to have strong feelings for them simply as a result of understanding where they've come from. But there is more to it than that. I mean, I love these kids.
I have a friend, a guy with several children, and he was trying to explain to me once what he felt when his first-born child made his appearance. According to my friend, his feelings of love and awe and worry and caring were so intense that simply drawing breath was a challenge. He describes being simply overwhelmed with emotion and with love, and it continues to this day. Now, I am under no illusion that what I feel for these kids in Kenya can approach that kind of love. Undoubtedly the love a father or mother feels (or, should feel) for their children stands alone in the universe of possible human loves. Nonetheless, I have been struck, struck I say!, by the intensity of feeling that has sprung up within me about these kids. It's almost irrational!
The second comment is harder to explain. As a 41-year old who loves kids and who wants to have kids (especially daughters) but who is single and who realizes that such dreams may never come true ("oh pity on me!"), and furthermore as a Christian who knows that God has a plan for all things and that all things find a way into His plans, I wonder. I wonder why I've ended up as I have. I wonder what I'm supposed to do with the situation in which I find myself...single with no children, but burdened with love for them. Well, maybe I've found the answer, at least in part. Possessing great love for kids but not having any of my own has freed me, in a sense, to unabashedly love the kids in Africa. All of my passion and love can be given to them because, in a sense, it really has no where else to go.
Now, a fair question can be, "why don't you feel this strongly about the disadvantaged children you encounter here in the U.S.?" It is a good question. Why ARE my feelings and love are so much stronger towards the kids I've met in Africa. The truth is, I don't know. But the truth is also, I'm not worried about it. The way I've come to see it is this: I am childless but love children. The kids in Africa are without parents and family and need love. It seems like a wonderful fit and I'm happy (blessed, honored) to play whatever role I can in loving them.
As you might be aware of, Oprah recently donated about a bazillion dollars to open a girl's school in South Africa which, if I understand it correctly, is to provide top-notch educational opportunities and training for girls who would not otherwise have the opportunity. Of course, no good deed goes unpunished and Oprah has taken her fair (or unfair) amount of criticism, probably the most understandable theme involving bewilderment about why so much was spent on so few (only 152 girls to start out). But this is neither here nor there as far as I'm concerned. What I really want to focus on is two comments from Oprah that I read, two comments which caused me to wander off into lands unknown...that of concordance with Oprah. Here are her two quotes/comments:
"I did not think it was possible to have this love for other people's children."
"I now know this is why I never had children myself. These are my girls and I love them, every one of them."
Let me take Oprah's comments and make them my own. Understand that I have worked with children for a large part of my adult life. I have worked in and amongst thousands of kids, many of whom I've become very fond. But these children I've met in Africa... Never has a group of children left me feeling so broken and so full at the same time. Undoubtedly the intensity of my feelings toward them is in large part due to their station in life, their circumstances. I mean, you'd be a sorry person indeed NOT to have strong feelings for them simply as a result of understanding where they've come from. But there is more to it than that. I mean, I love these kids.
I have a friend, a guy with several children, and he was trying to explain to me once what he felt when his first-born child made his appearance. According to my friend, his feelings of love and awe and worry and caring were so intense that simply drawing breath was a challenge. He describes being simply overwhelmed with emotion and with love, and it continues to this day. Now, I am under no illusion that what I feel for these kids in Kenya can approach that kind of love. Undoubtedly the love a father or mother feels (or, should feel) for their children stands alone in the universe of possible human loves. Nonetheless, I have been struck, struck I say!, by the intensity of feeling that has sprung up within me about these kids. It's almost irrational!
The second comment is harder to explain. As a 41-year old who loves kids and who wants to have kids (especially daughters) but who is single and who realizes that such dreams may never come true ("oh pity on me!"), and furthermore as a Christian who knows that God has a plan for all things and that all things find a way into His plans, I wonder. I wonder why I've ended up as I have. I wonder what I'm supposed to do with the situation in which I find myself...single with no children, but burdened with love for them. Well, maybe I've found the answer, at least in part. Possessing great love for kids but not having any of my own has freed me, in a sense, to unabashedly love the kids in Africa. All of my passion and love can be given to them because, in a sense, it really has no where else to go.
Now, a fair question can be, "why don't you feel this strongly about the disadvantaged children you encounter here in the U.S.?" It is a good question. Why ARE my feelings and love are so much stronger towards the kids I've met in Africa. The truth is, I don't know. But the truth is also, I'm not worried about it. The way I've come to see it is this: I am childless but love children. The kids in Africa are without parents and family and need love. It seems like a wonderful fit and I'm happy (blessed, honored) to play whatever role I can in loving them.
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