Tuesday
May052009
Lost, then Found
Tuesday, May 5, 2009 at 07:33PM
I must warn you up front, there is no point to this post. No deep thought, no subtle lesson. It's just a stupid story about a stupid person...me.
Saturday, I did a little babysitting. Great kids, great parents, some of my favorite people in the world. The Monks, if you know them. That evening I drove into town and bought pizza for the kids. Paid for it with cash, right out of my wallet. Around 11:00 pm or so, the parents returned and I headed home. The next day, Sunday, I went to the office in the afternoon to work. The office was a mess as the carpet cleaners had been there on Friday, so we had moved all of our stuff either up on desks or outside. I therefore spent quite a bit of time setting up my office, throwing away a lot of trash, re-organizing...you get the idea. I stayed at the office pretty late, till midnight or so.
The next morning, Monday, I was leaving for work but couldn't find my wallet. I didn't think too much of it as I figured I had left it at the office (don't worry, my office isn't your typical office and it isn't unusual for me to leave things there). However, I arrived at the office and found no wallet. I hunted around a bit at work without success, and left that evening determined to find the wallet which, obviously, was back at home, hidden from sight.
Got back home, no wallet. I hunted high and low. I looked in the washing machine. I looked in the refrigerator (you never know!). I looked everywhere I could think. Not seriously bothered, I called back to the pizza place from Saturday night, the last place I definitely could remember seeing my wallet. No luck, no wallet. I zipped back to the office to look there again. I looked throughout the office, upstairs, downstairs, in the restrooms, closets and cubbies. Nothing. Feeling desperate, I then went to the big trailer where we throw cardboard to recycle. Perhaps it went out with some of the boxes I threw away on Sunday? I crawled around in the wet cardboard (it was raining at the time), sorting through the pile of soaked, slimy crud. No wallet.
As I went to bed Monday night, I was convinced I had either a) left it on top of my truck when I went to get pizza, and thus it was gone forever, or b) I had accidentally thrown it out with some trash when I cleaned my office, and thus was gone forever (unless I wanted to climb into the trash trailer at work...no I did not). My plans were to begin the long, painful process of canceling ALL of my credit cards and getting new ones, getting a replacement insurance card, driver's license, etc. A serious pain, but what else could I do?
But wait...
At six in the morning, Tuesday, I bolted straight up from a dead sleep. I suddenly knew, almost beyond doubt, where my wallet was. Here's the train of thought that raced through my head in about 2.5 seconds:
So, Tuesday morning, I drove straight to the Lodge and went right to the room where I had placed the boxes. I opened the door, looked down, and there it was, my wallet.
I'm sure there's a lesson in there somewhere; maybe it's simply, "don't forget your belt or you might lose your wallet."
Saturday, I did a little babysitting. Great kids, great parents, some of my favorite people in the world. The Monks, if you know them. That evening I drove into town and bought pizza for the kids. Paid for it with cash, right out of my wallet. Around 11:00 pm or so, the parents returned and I headed home. The next day, Sunday, I went to the office in the afternoon to work. The office was a mess as the carpet cleaners had been there on Friday, so we had moved all of our stuff either up on desks or outside. I therefore spent quite a bit of time setting up my office, throwing away a lot of trash, re-organizing...you get the idea. I stayed at the office pretty late, till midnight or so.
The next morning, Monday, I was leaving for work but couldn't find my wallet. I didn't think too much of it as I figured I had left it at the office (don't worry, my office isn't your typical office and it isn't unusual for me to leave things there). However, I arrived at the office and found no wallet. I hunted around a bit at work without success, and left that evening determined to find the wallet which, obviously, was back at home, hidden from sight.
Got back home, no wallet. I hunted high and low. I looked in the washing machine. I looked in the refrigerator (you never know!). I looked everywhere I could think. Not seriously bothered, I called back to the pizza place from Saturday night, the last place I definitely could remember seeing my wallet. No luck, no wallet. I zipped back to the office to look there again. I looked throughout the office, upstairs, downstairs, in the restrooms, closets and cubbies. Nothing. Feeling desperate, I then went to the big trailer where we throw cardboard to recycle. Perhaps it went out with some of the boxes I threw away on Sunday? I crawled around in the wet cardboard (it was raining at the time), sorting through the pile of soaked, slimy crud. No wallet.
As I went to bed Monday night, I was convinced I had either a) left it on top of my truck when I went to get pizza, and thus it was gone forever, or b) I had accidentally thrown it out with some trash when I cleaned my office, and thus was gone forever (unless I wanted to climb into the trash trailer at work...no I did not). My plans were to begin the long, painful process of canceling ALL of my credit cards and getting new ones, getting a replacement insurance card, driver's license, etc. A serious pain, but what else could I do?
But wait...
At six in the morning, Tuesday, I bolted straight up from a dead sleep. I suddenly knew, almost beyond doubt, where my wallet was. Here's the train of thought that raced through my head in about 2.5 seconds:
- First, I remembered seeing my wallet on Sunday as I left to come to the office. I remembered thinking I should grab the wallet in case I needed to buy something online. This convinced me I had NOT left my wallet on top of my truck on Saturday, although I could have still thrown it in the trash.
- I THEN realized I did not throw it in the trash. The odds of that happening were tiny, minuscule. I was very careful about what I threw away on Sunday as there were a lot of documents and other such things. I reviewed everything I threw away to make sure it was OK to be rid of it. No way my wallet would have ended up there.
- I THEN remembered the key to the story. On Sunday I had carried a few armfuls of boxes to another building, the Lodge. I also remembered I was wearing my ratty Wal-Mart jeans (which isn't unusual). I THEN remembered I had somehow forgotten to wear a belt and my pants kept falling down. I THEN remembered that on one trip to the Lodge, with an armful of boxes, my pants had fallen all the way down to my ankles, and I shuffled the last 30 feet or so till I reached a table where I could put down my boxes and pull up my pants. Surely, SURELY, this is where my wallet was, having fallen out of my pants when they were around my ankles.
So, Tuesday morning, I drove straight to the Lodge and went right to the room where I had placed the boxes. I opened the door, looked down, and there it was, my wallet.
I'm sure there's a lesson in there somewhere; maybe it's simply, "don't forget your belt or you might lose your wallet."
in Whatnot
Whatnot
Reader Comments (14)
You just made my whole week.
Okay...I just laughed out loud.
Too clear a picture!
Hilarious
Do you wear your walmart jeans like you do your sweatpants?
Can't believe it wasn't in the fridge.
Oh, I love the mental picture.
Brad - I was in the safe zone.
Files - I don't know why, but I ALWAYS look in the fridge when I lose something. I guess I figure, "Hey, if it's not there, at least I'll grab a bite to eat."
Other faithful readers - glad you enjoyed the tale. Maybe I should post more "I'm such a goober" stories. I have lots.
I could unfortunately picture this. Classic story
Thanks for a great laugh!
I'm laughing so hard at this right now. Maybe Pete will let you borrow some rope to hold your pants up. Also, it made me think of another bizarre story about you and the old lodge. oh dave...
Awesome story. Good thing there weren't any witnesses.
I sympathize all too well with suddenly coming bolt upright from a dead sleep. It's quite painful when you're sleeping in a bunk where the next bunk is about 5 inches lower than where your head should be.
Given the last line one might almost consider the story's retelling a fable . . . Aesop didn't do half as well. I'll laugh myself to sleep.
Thanks for sharing! I got a 'good' mental picture out of it. And, remember your belt as it holds all things together....the spiritual belt of truth and the physical belt!